I'm consumed in a day of nothingness. I haven't had a day to just do nothing in so long, it's bliss. Since I'm doing nothing, I decided to watch Amelie today. It brings about so many different emotions for me. It brings great memories of the past. Jen and I used to watch it together. And two old friends, Duante and Rachel, used to watch it with me too. It makes me want to believe in love. It makes me giggle. It makes me sappy. It makes me hopeful. I haven't visited the subject of love very much on here, but what the hell?
I consider myself one of those fortunate people who have experienced true love. True, I have lost it, and more than once, but I had it. And it lives within me. I am thankful for that. The pain of losing it made me wonder so many times if the happiness was worth it, but it was. I cherish those moments. Lately, I have found myself cherishing them even more. I feel as though I'm finally in a place where my heart is healing and I can look back and laugh and smile and think about how happy I was. I think about how not everyone can stay forever. And they shouldn't. And each person comes into our lives to teach us something or give us what we need at that point in time. I hope this means that I will be ready when the right one comes along.
I'm a very emotional girl. This movie got me thinking about those gorgeous moments in my history and some tears were shed. I miss my one true love all the time. But I carry him with me, like I always knew I would. And I love that my life is right on track now. On a side note, I was crying at church the other night, and JJ, my best friend's brother's son, told Zoey that I was crying tears of joy. And I laughed out loud. Because he was right. And I was so thankful for where I was at that very moment.
Christmas was great. Everyone was very pleased with their gifts and I got to spend tons of time with my nephew, Mason. He is my little buddy. He is so funny and is getting so big! He is also obsessed with Spongebob. LOL. Good times were had by all. I go back to work tomorrow and then I have a nice little long weekend next week. I am ready!!
Monday, December 26, 2011
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Unitarian Universalism!!!
I promise to write a proper blog today or tomorrow because I want to talk about my amazing solstice weekend, BUT I was browsing my friend Jen's blog for a bit and thought she wrote some pretty incredible things about my (our) faith. She and I butted heads for awhile about our religious views. I knew that I wasn't Christian almost immediately after high school and started my research a little earlier. Once we both were questioning, our journeys to discover our own truth became one journey together. I feel so blessed to have friends who not only accept that I am not a Christian just cuz that's what I was told to be. I am fortunate that some of my friends embrace this faith as now their own. I know it brings me incredible joy, and brings joy for my friends that attend. The past two and a half years as a member of St. John's Unitarian Universalist Church in Cincinnati have been some of the best years of my life. I don't know how I would have gotten through the loss of my dad, the end of a very meaningful relationship with the man I planned to spend my life with, and my best friend moving away, without this place. And I don't want to forget to mention the music that inspires me!! Here is what she had to say and I think it is perfect:
"I figured I'd let you in on some of my beliefs. I'm a Unitarian Universalist. I was raised Lutheran, but while attending JCC, I took a Comparative Religion class, & began questioning it all. I've also had a Philosophy class before & as a girl who believed everything she was taught, I was pissed. It made me mad, but it also made me think. So this class did the same. I thought, I considered. I really liked Shinto, the national religion of Japan. They really respect the Earth (this was after my ES class). Around that time, Beki, asked if I would go to this new church she found. She said it was unlike anything she had heard of before & she wanted to check it out. So, we went. It was incredible. We went a few times, & there was this great sense of community. People didn't care where you came from or what you drove, how much or how little money you had. They were just happy that you were there. They were interested in learning the truth. One time, there was a sermon that was completely about the Beatles, and their message of love & unity. I was blown away. I couldn't believe that this still existed in this world of hate & greed. That this love, reverence & respect for each other & the Earth still existed among intelligent people. I'm getting all misty just thinking about it. No church I had ever been to in my entire life was like this & I had been to a lot of churches (Southern Baptist, non-denominational, Lutheran, Catholic....etc).
These are the 7 basic principles of the UU faith:
You can find that info & more here"
This is the faith that speaks to me. It allows me to follow my own path. I am so thankful.
"I figured I'd let you in on some of my beliefs. I'm a Unitarian Universalist. I was raised Lutheran, but while attending JCC, I took a Comparative Religion class, & began questioning it all. I've also had a Philosophy class before & as a girl who believed everything she was taught, I was pissed. It made me mad, but it also made me think. So this class did the same. I thought, I considered. I really liked Shinto, the national religion of Japan. They really respect the Earth (this was after my ES class). Around that time, Beki, asked if I would go to this new church she found. She said it was unlike anything she had heard of before & she wanted to check it out. So, we went. It was incredible. We went a few times, & there was this great sense of community. People didn't care where you came from or what you drove, how much or how little money you had. They were just happy that you were there. They were interested in learning the truth. One time, there was a sermon that was completely about the Beatles, and their message of love & unity. I was blown away. I couldn't believe that this still existed in this world of hate & greed. That this love, reverence & respect for each other & the Earth still existed among intelligent people. I'm getting all misty just thinking about it. No church I had ever been to in my entire life was like this & I had been to a lot of churches (Southern Baptist, non-denominational, Lutheran, Catholic....etc).
These are the 7 basic principles of the UU faith:
- The inherent worth and dignity of every person;
- Justice, equity and compassion in human relations;
- Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations;
- A free and responsible search for truth and meaning;
- The right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our congregations and in society at large;
- The goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all;
- Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.
You can find that info & more here"
This is the faith that speaks to me. It allows me to follow my own path. I am so thankful.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Ramblings
I know I haven't written in a bit, but things have been totally nuts. I literally feel so run down that I called in sick today just for a "me" day. I really do have a sinus infection, but nothing I couldn't work with. I feel that life is so chaotic right now that I just need some time to regroup. So here I am, snuggling in my bed with Bobby and Tosh.0 to keep me company. I swear I'm going to get up in a bit and actually do some cleaning and organizing. Promise. :)
I had a great weekend. It was just very busy. Friday night I ran some errands after work and came home and crashed hard. I think I fell asleep at like 9. I worked Saturday and flew to CCM afterward for Cincinnati Children's Choir's Feast of Carols. It was amazeballs, as always. These kids are fierce. They don't miss a beat, I tell ya! Makes my heart swell with pride to know that this organization that began when I was in JR high, has gone from singing in church basements to sharing the stage with the most talented people in the city, the Pops, and Cincinnati Opera. Really makes me sad too because I wish I had gone on to be a director and that I was the one leading these children... Anyway, I had sushi with my friend Kelly after the show. She and I were very close when we were choir kids. We have occasionally seen each other over the past 12 years but haven't caught up like we did the other day. What a gift! I love reconnecting with old friends. Especially old friends that share the best memories of my life with me. I have to say, the gifts I've been receiving lately have been so great and I am so thankful for them all!
After dinner, I did a little bit of shopping (I'm 98% done now, yay!) and was too exhausted to do anything after such a long day. I stayed in with my mom Saturday night and watched some movies, did some reading and went to bed early again. Had brunch with my friend Jason Sunday morning and spent the rest of the day with Mel and the girls. I got to see Mason that evening too, but not for long enough. I'm hoping this weekend he and I can do something special together. I've been missing my little guy.
As I said before, today is for regrouping. I have some organizing to do, laundry, putting up the tree and want to get to the tanning bed and maybe the movies today. I'm jones-in to see Like Crazy!
love, peace and hair grease!
I had a great weekend. It was just very busy. Friday night I ran some errands after work and came home and crashed hard. I think I fell asleep at like 9. I worked Saturday and flew to CCM afterward for Cincinnati Children's Choir's Feast of Carols. It was amazeballs, as always. These kids are fierce. They don't miss a beat, I tell ya! Makes my heart swell with pride to know that this organization that began when I was in JR high, has gone from singing in church basements to sharing the stage with the most talented people in the city, the Pops, and Cincinnati Opera. Really makes me sad too because I wish I had gone on to be a director and that I was the one leading these children... Anyway, I had sushi with my friend Kelly after the show. She and I were very close when we were choir kids. We have occasionally seen each other over the past 12 years but haven't caught up like we did the other day. What a gift! I love reconnecting with old friends. Especially old friends that share the best memories of my life with me. I have to say, the gifts I've been receiving lately have been so great and I am so thankful for them all!
After dinner, I did a little bit of shopping (I'm 98% done now, yay!) and was too exhausted to do anything after such a long day. I stayed in with my mom Saturday night and watched some movies, did some reading and went to bed early again. Had brunch with my friend Jason Sunday morning and spent the rest of the day with Mel and the girls. I got to see Mason that evening too, but not for long enough. I'm hoping this weekend he and I can do something special together. I've been missing my little guy.
As I said before, today is for regrouping. I have some organizing to do, laundry, putting up the tree and want to get to the tanning bed and maybe the movies today. I'm jones-in to see Like Crazy!
love, peace and hair grease!
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
And Music and Singing Shall be my Light
I just wanted to take a few, brief moments (sorr, at work) and wax a little more about my favorite thing on the planet. Yep, that would be singing. Tis the season for my choirs to keep me uber busy with rehearsals and performances almost constantly. At the beginning of this month, I realized that I literally don't have a free day until new year's eve! People think I am nuts. They are always asking me why I do it and how I manage my hectic life. Some people can't understand this passion. Some can, but that is because they are passionate people and they crave something the way I do. Truth is, I do it because I have to. It's like oxygen to me. The years when I wasn't singing were the darkest years of my life. My mind and soul know what they need to get by.
MUSE sang at Evergreen Retirement home last night. I did tons of this kind of thing when I was younger and had no appreciation of the impact of it all, but last night was different. I was very moved to see people with tears in their eyes and huge smiles on their faces because of our music. It was a gift to them and myself.
St. John's is doing some INCREDIBLE music for Winter Solstice. Malcolm Dalglish, a genius composer and hammer dulcimer player, is coming to be our guest artist and I'm so excited because I got to work with him when I was a teenager. Can't wait to do it again. Very excited about the entire solstice celebration we are having at church this year and not putting all the focus on Christmas.
I'll try to write another post tomorrow when I'm off. Better get back to work!
MUSE sang at Evergreen Retirement home last night. I did tons of this kind of thing when I was younger and had no appreciation of the impact of it all, but last night was different. I was very moved to see people with tears in their eyes and huge smiles on their faces because of our music. It was a gift to them and myself.
St. John's is doing some INCREDIBLE music for Winter Solstice. Malcolm Dalglish, a genius composer and hammer dulcimer player, is coming to be our guest artist and I'm so excited because I got to work with him when I was a teenager. Can't wait to do it again. Very excited about the entire solstice celebration we are having at church this year and not putting all the focus on Christmas.
I'll try to write another post tomorrow when I'm off. Better get back to work!
Friday, December 2, 2011
Friday pants
This week has been crizzazzzzzzy. Work is going really well. We've actually been pretty busy and I had a kick ass November! I made enough money just in my bonus for November to pay for my trip to Colorado in July. I am so beyond thankful for that. Also going to Oregon with Jen and Mel in the spring and Put in Bay with Andy, Donna and Thom for Memorial Day. So looking forward to doing some much needed traveling. Finally!
Short blog tonight. Wanted to update since I haven't this week. I'm still on the mend. Healing quite well. I just get tired very easily. My choirs are uber demanding but I love every second. Work is actually working me. I like that too, but all the more reason to be in bed at 8 PM on Friday night. I am in, what I so lovingly call, my Friday pants. Friday pants are my most comfortable, favorite, amazing lounge pants EVER!
Maybe this is what 30 looks like. I know I'm not technically there yet, but it's breathing down my neck. Maybe 30 is where I bust my ass daily to achieve financial stability and bust my ass nightly to create perfect harmonic chords with the people that inspire me and where I get down and dirty with turning this body into a hot one. Maybe my Friday nights in my Friday pants are exactly what I need to rejuvenate just enough to have some sort of social life on the weekend. Maybe (and I do suspect this is the case) this is exactly where I need to be. The idea is thrilling. I'm not even being sarcastic, for once. I'm in such a good place and I love it.
I made a new playlist the other day. Thank you Jen for recommending some kick ass tunes. I call this Day Off because that's what day it was and I'm not clever. I'm diggin it. Here it is. As I listen more, I may be able to talk more about what kind of vibes I'm getting from the bands.
Grouplove Tongue Tied
Atlas Genius Trojans
Carina Round For Everything a Reason
Regina Spektor The Flowers
Maps and Atlases You and Me and the Mountain
Birdy Shelter
Fleet Foxes Mykonos
Chairlift Bruises
Eisley I Wish
nearLY All is Lost
Two Door Cinema Something Good Can Work
Vampire Weekend Ottomon
Now I will admit, some of these I have already been listening to forever. But they make me happy and just felt right for this playlist. I never really have a method to my madness. It always works out though. I've been told my playlists always end up feeling like a record. What can I say? It's a gift. :)
Short blog tonight. Wanted to update since I haven't this week. I'm still on the mend. Healing quite well. I just get tired very easily. My choirs are uber demanding but I love every second. Work is actually working me. I like that too, but all the more reason to be in bed at 8 PM on Friday night. I am in, what I so lovingly call, my Friday pants. Friday pants are my most comfortable, favorite, amazing lounge pants EVER!
Maybe this is what 30 looks like. I know I'm not technically there yet, but it's breathing down my neck. Maybe 30 is where I bust my ass daily to achieve financial stability and bust my ass nightly to create perfect harmonic chords with the people that inspire me and where I get down and dirty with turning this body into a hot one. Maybe my Friday nights in my Friday pants are exactly what I need to rejuvenate just enough to have some sort of social life on the weekend. Maybe (and I do suspect this is the case) this is exactly where I need to be. The idea is thrilling. I'm not even being sarcastic, for once. I'm in such a good place and I love it.
I made a new playlist the other day. Thank you Jen for recommending some kick ass tunes. I call this Day Off because that's what day it was and I'm not clever. I'm diggin it. Here it is. As I listen more, I may be able to talk more about what kind of vibes I'm getting from the bands.
Grouplove Tongue Tied
Atlas Genius Trojans
Carina Round For Everything a Reason
Regina Spektor The Flowers
Maps and Atlases You and Me and the Mountain
Birdy Shelter
Fleet Foxes Mykonos
Chairlift Bruises
Eisley I Wish
nearLY All is Lost
Two Door Cinema Something Good Can Work
Vampire Weekend Ottomon
Now I will admit, some of these I have already been listening to forever. But they make me happy and just felt right for this playlist. I never really have a method to my madness. It always works out though. I've been told my playlists always end up feeling like a record. What can I say? It's a gift. :)
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