Torn

If there's one thing constant in my life, it is the fact that I'm rarely satisfied.  I am deeply, deeply unsatisfied right now with a few things in my life.  The major one being my work...

I had the MOST INCREDIBLE WEEKEND I may have ever had in my life last weekend.  I went to Ann Arbor, MI with MUSE.  I felt like it was a dream.  Everything was amazing.  The car ride up was fun.  I rode with Kate and Emily and it was awesome singing classic rock songs, practicing our music, and getting to know each other on a different level.  We arrived in beautiful Ann Arbor that afternoon and had a little bit of time to see University of Michigan's campus, which is gorgeous.  We had a great rehearsal, then time to rest and get dressed and headed to a dinner that was catered in for us.  The concert that night was very inspiring and got me very emotional.  Sunday morning we did two concerts at their church services and were able to listen to Randy Roberts Potts speak.  What a treat.  I cried the whole morning.  He really made me feel like I need to do more.  Look him up, please!  Hear what he has to say.  We had an amazing brunch at Zingerman's Roadhouse before we went home.  It was just awesome.  It left me thinking that there has to be more to life than being a corporate monkey.  There has to be more than making money that someone else gets to enjoy.  There has to be more than being a human robot who doesn't matter anyway.  There has to be a way to enjoy what I do and actually make a difference in the life of people who are less fortunate than me.

I am committing to myself that I will start soul searching so that I can find that.  My new branch is just as much of a drag as the last one.  Yes I make a good living, but for what?  To hate 40 hours of my life every week?  Something has to give.

I also decided that I'm going to start Weight Watchers again.  I need the discipline that comes with a program like that.  I need to be accountable to weighing in front of someone else.  I really want to be at my goal weight by the end of September.  I want to reach that goal before I make any other major changes in my life, which I want to do after my vacations this year.

I feel as though I am one of the most blessed and fortunate people in the whole world.  I don't take that for granted for a single minute.  I want to share that wealth.  I want to pour all of this love out into the world.  I want to find a way to share my passion in a way that makes a difference!