Today is miserable. I overslept, look like crap, have cramps from HELL and my coworkers are working my last nerve. Thank god I have a three day weekend coming up. All I want to do today is eat the scrumptious birthday cake in the break room and taco bell, then go home and lay it down for the night. No such luck. I have to get my hair trimmed tonight and dye my hair. Probably doing laundry too. I really want to work out tonight but I am overdosing on midol and it's not even helping a little. Ugh. I hate being a negative Nancy today but I can't shake this funk. Any suggestions? Here is what is keeping me sane:
Thinking about being off work for three days!
Cincinnati Children's Choir concert and reunion tomorrow night. I am sure it will be hours of reminiscing with some of my favorite people.
Sleeping in on Sunday! No choir this week.
Having lunch with Nicole, Brad and Don from my old branch. I seriously miss them so much.
I'm thinking way ahead here, but I get to see my Andy Poo on memorial day weekend!
I get to see THE SHINS June 9th!!
And I get to see Florence in July!!!
Friday, March 16, 2012
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Torn
If there's one thing constant in my life, it is the fact that I'm rarely satisfied. I am deeply, deeply unsatisfied right now with a few things in my life. The major one being my work...
I had the MOST INCREDIBLE WEEKEND I may have ever had in my life last weekend. I went to Ann Arbor, MI with MUSE. I felt like it was a dream. Everything was amazing. The car ride up was fun. I rode with Kate and Emily and it was awesome singing classic rock songs, practicing our music, and getting to know each other on a different level. We arrived in beautiful Ann Arbor that afternoon and had a little bit of time to see University of Michigan's campus, which is gorgeous. We had a great rehearsal, then time to rest and get dressed and headed to a dinner that was catered in for us. The concert that night was very inspiring and got me very emotional. Sunday morning we did two concerts at their church services and were able to listen to Randy Roberts Potts speak. What a treat. I cried the whole morning. He really made me feel like I need to do more. Look him up, please! Hear what he has to say. We had an amazing brunch at Zingerman's Roadhouse before we went home. It was just awesome. It left me thinking that there has to be more to life than being a corporate monkey. There has to be more than making money that someone else gets to enjoy. There has to be more than being a human robot who doesn't matter anyway. There has to be a way to enjoy what I do and actually make a difference in the life of people who are less fortunate than me.
I am committing to myself that I will start soul searching so that I can find that. My new branch is just as much of a drag as the last one. Yes I make a good living, but for what? To hate 40 hours of my life every week? Something has to give.
I also decided that I'm going to start Weight Watchers again. I need the discipline that comes with a program like that. I need to be accountable to weighing in front of someone else. I really want to be at my goal weight by the end of September. I want to reach that goal before I make any other major changes in my life, which I want to do after my vacations this year.
I feel as though I am one of the most blessed and fortunate people in the whole world. I don't take that for granted for a single minute. I want to share that wealth. I want to pour all of this love out into the world. I want to find a way to share my passion in a way that makes a difference!
I had the MOST INCREDIBLE WEEKEND I may have ever had in my life last weekend. I went to Ann Arbor, MI with MUSE. I felt like it was a dream. Everything was amazing. The car ride up was fun. I rode with Kate and Emily and it was awesome singing classic rock songs, practicing our music, and getting to know each other on a different level. We arrived in beautiful Ann Arbor that afternoon and had a little bit of time to see University of Michigan's campus, which is gorgeous. We had a great rehearsal, then time to rest and get dressed and headed to a dinner that was catered in for us. The concert that night was very inspiring and got me very emotional. Sunday morning we did two concerts at their church services and were able to listen to Randy Roberts Potts speak. What a treat. I cried the whole morning. He really made me feel like I need to do more. Look him up, please! Hear what he has to say. We had an amazing brunch at Zingerman's Roadhouse before we went home. It was just awesome. It left me thinking that there has to be more to life than being a corporate monkey. There has to be more than making money that someone else gets to enjoy. There has to be more than being a human robot who doesn't matter anyway. There has to be a way to enjoy what I do and actually make a difference in the life of people who are less fortunate than me.
I am committing to myself that I will start soul searching so that I can find that. My new branch is just as much of a drag as the last one. Yes I make a good living, but for what? To hate 40 hours of my life every week? Something has to give.
I also decided that I'm going to start Weight Watchers again. I need the discipline that comes with a program like that. I need to be accountable to weighing in front of someone else. I really want to be at my goal weight by the end of September. I want to reach that goal before I make any other major changes in my life, which I want to do after my vacations this year.
I feel as though I am one of the most blessed and fortunate people in the whole world. I don't take that for granted for a single minute. I want to share that wealth. I want to pour all of this love out into the world. I want to find a way to share my passion in a way that makes a difference!
Saturday, March 3, 2012
"Open up. Everything's Waiting for you!"
Wow. It's been a really long time (even for me) since my last post. So much has been going on, I haven't really had the energy to just write. But I wanted to at least post and update what's going on.
So here's what's been going on. I had my wisdom teeth pulled last Friday. Not a good time. It wasn't nearly as easy breezy as people led me to believe it would be and my mouth actually still hurts some. But it is done now and that's one thing I was able to cross off my to do list as far as health concerns go.
A couple weeks ago, I had the sonohysteogram (sp?). It sucked. But it came out that everything is normal and that is a huge relief since I do want to have children. That left my doctor with no answers, yet again. So we decided to give Lysteda a try, which is a drug used to treat heavy periods. It didn't really work. It helped lighten my period, but it never stopped. I finally just called and asked him to give me the pill. He prescribed Ortho Tri Cyclen and so far it hasn't made me crazy. Also, so far, it hasn't completely stopped the bleeding. I think it will eventually though. And if it doesn't soon, I'll be seeing him again. I still have an appointment with the endo lady next month. I already feel better though and my energy levels have majorly increased, and for now I am happy with that.
I also got my third fill this past Monday. I am feeling more restriction now, but not yet to what I'd consider my "green zone." I am down 25 pounds now and can feel and see the results now. I'm happy with my progress and I know that I'm taking much better care of my body now and making the right decisions for it now. I've been working out more since I finally have energy!
Lastly, today is my last day at my Crescent Springs branch. I'm so excited for Monday! It doesn't seem real just yet, and I'm not sure when it will. I guess it will once it becomes real. We had a little going away potluck party for me yesterday and a lot of my good customers have said they will follow me to my new branch. I feel so positive that things are looking up. I am so happy with where I am right now and with where I'm going. It's been a very long time since I've felt so completely happy and just good about everything overall.
I have a concert tonight and then a jam packed day full of St. John's choir stuff tomorrow. I have a very busy week ahead of me with my new job, and of course choir stuff then I'll be in Ann Arbor all weekend with MUSE! Can't wait for my first out of town trip with my ladies! <3 <3 <3
So here's what's been going on. I had my wisdom teeth pulled last Friday. Not a good time. It wasn't nearly as easy breezy as people led me to believe it would be and my mouth actually still hurts some. But it is done now and that's one thing I was able to cross off my to do list as far as health concerns go.
A couple weeks ago, I had the sonohysteogram (sp?). It sucked. But it came out that everything is normal and that is a huge relief since I do want to have children. That left my doctor with no answers, yet again. So we decided to give Lysteda a try, which is a drug used to treat heavy periods. It didn't really work. It helped lighten my period, but it never stopped. I finally just called and asked him to give me the pill. He prescribed Ortho Tri Cyclen and so far it hasn't made me crazy. Also, so far, it hasn't completely stopped the bleeding. I think it will eventually though. And if it doesn't soon, I'll be seeing him again. I still have an appointment with the endo lady next month. I already feel better though and my energy levels have majorly increased, and for now I am happy with that.
I also got my third fill this past Monday. I am feeling more restriction now, but not yet to what I'd consider my "green zone." I am down 25 pounds now and can feel and see the results now. I'm happy with my progress and I know that I'm taking much better care of my body now and making the right decisions for it now. I've been working out more since I finally have energy!
Lastly, today is my last day at my Crescent Springs branch. I'm so excited for Monday! It doesn't seem real just yet, and I'm not sure when it will. I guess it will once it becomes real. We had a little going away potluck party for me yesterday and a lot of my good customers have said they will follow me to my new branch. I feel so positive that things are looking up. I am so happy with where I am right now and with where I'm going. It's been a very long time since I've felt so completely happy and just good about everything overall.
I have a concert tonight and then a jam packed day full of St. John's choir stuff tomorrow. I have a very busy week ahead of me with my new job, and of course choir stuff then I'll be in Ann Arbor all weekend with MUSE! Can't wait for my first out of town trip with my ladies! <3 <3 <3
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Movin' on UP!!!!!!!!!
I'm posting about the fan-freaking-tastic news that I got yesterday!!! I am officially being promoted to be a small business specialist at another branch in my district. What that means is that I will not only deal with consumer accounts and products, but I will be the primary source that businesses go to if they need help or if they need (hopefully) new accounts and products. I've been wanting to go to this particular branch since I started with the company, mostly because it is one of the busiest branches in the area. I used to work on the east side of town, and did very well with the clientele there. I think this is exactly what I need to revamp my career and be more successful. I'm so excited about this challenge and I feel like everything is really finally turning around. I know that if I keep having faith that where I am is exactly where I'm supposed to be, everything will always turn out ok. I'm going to keep working hard on my career, my health, my entire life and be the best ME I can be.
I'm really excited for this weekend. I get to perform with MUSE on Saturday AND Sunday!! I also get to see Robyn Lana, aka my mentor, who is the founding director of Cincinnati Children's Choir. They are performing right before us on Saturday. I will probably cry seeing her in the audience just because she is home to me and I'm so proud to still be doing what she taught me to do and love. I must say, 2012 is looking bright!!!
And, last but not least, I FINALLY GET TO SEE THE SHINS IN JUNE!!!!!!!!!!! Nuff said.
I'm really excited for this weekend. I get to perform with MUSE on Saturday AND Sunday!! I also get to see Robyn Lana, aka my mentor, who is the founding director of Cincinnati Children's Choir. They are performing right before us on Saturday. I will probably cry seeing her in the audience just because she is home to me and I'm so proud to still be doing what she taught me to do and love. I must say, 2012 is looking bright!!!
And, last but not least, I FINALLY GET TO SEE THE SHINS IN JUNE!!!!!!!!!!! Nuff said.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
What I've Learned
I've learned that being able to sing music that not only inspires me, but reflects my belief system, has been one of the greatest gifts I've ever received.
I've learned that I must always be reading a good book. Even if it takes me 3 months to finish. I find great peace and solace in reading.
I've learned that it's ok to cry.
I've also learned that it's ok to cut myself some slack sometimes. And to take a break.
I'm learning to be happy in the now. And that this is not a rat race. Not for me.
I've learned that no matter what is going on, snuggling in bed with my cats will always make everything better.
I've learned that there is time for all I want to achieve and do. I just can't do it ALL right now. :)
I've learned that above and beyond everything else, I will always be thankful for what I have and for all the amazing people I have in my life.
I've learned that I must always be reading a good book. Even if it takes me 3 months to finish. I find great peace and solace in reading.
I've learned that it's ok to cry.
I've also learned that it's ok to cut myself some slack sometimes. And to take a break.
I'm learning to be happy in the now. And that this is not a rat race. Not for me.
I've learned that no matter what is going on, snuggling in bed with my cats will always make everything better.
I've learned that there is time for all I want to achieve and do. I just can't do it ALL right now. :)
I've learned that above and beyond everything else, I will always be thankful for what I have and for all the amazing people I have in my life.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Sitting, Waiting, Wishing
I've been a bad blogger, but what else is new? Honestly, I haven't even had the strength to go to a choir rehearsal this week, let alone type. I'm lucky I've made it to work. Everything that is going on with my health is really taking it's toll on me.
My doctor decided to check my thyroid and my blood to see if I'm anemic. That was done on Tuesday and I got the results back yesterday. Both came back fine. I was very frustrated by that only because I thought maybe, just maybe there was something we could start treating and that I'd start to feel better soon. No dice. I can sleep for ten hours a night and I will still feel exhausted. No matter what I do. And nothing is working right. So on Valentine's Day (lucky me) I get to have a sonohysteogram. This is a fancy shmancy word for ultra sound that is just able to see more than a normal one. After that, we should know if I have something structurely wrong with me or if it's just hormonal. I could have some type of tumor or just have a very thick endometrium. That's what they'll know after that. I am seeing an endocrinologist sooner than April because my amazing director is helping me get into someone she knows personally. All I know is that all of this is making me miserable, tired and very irritable. I don't even like myself right now. I just want to feel normal!
I get my next fill on Monday, so that's good! I'm kind of laying low this weekend to rest and then next week I work all week, have rehearsals and performances next weekend. I'm tired thinking about it, but I hope I can pull it together enough to be with my choirs. I miss them!!!
My doctor decided to check my thyroid and my blood to see if I'm anemic. That was done on Tuesday and I got the results back yesterday. Both came back fine. I was very frustrated by that only because I thought maybe, just maybe there was something we could start treating and that I'd start to feel better soon. No dice. I can sleep for ten hours a night and I will still feel exhausted. No matter what I do. And nothing is working right. So on Valentine's Day (lucky me) I get to have a sonohysteogram. This is a fancy shmancy word for ultra sound that is just able to see more than a normal one. After that, we should know if I have something structurely wrong with me or if it's just hormonal. I could have some type of tumor or just have a very thick endometrium. That's what they'll know after that. I am seeing an endocrinologist sooner than April because my amazing director is helping me get into someone she knows personally. All I know is that all of this is making me miserable, tired and very irritable. I don't even like myself right now. I just want to feel normal!
I get my next fill on Monday, so that's good! I'm kind of laying low this weekend to rest and then next week I work all week, have rehearsals and performances next weekend. I'm tired thinking about it, but I hope I can pull it together enough to be with my choirs. I miss them!!!
Monday, January 30, 2012
Catching up
The weekend went by way too fast! It was a very good one though. Friday night I had dinner with my old boss and my old financial advisor. We ended up hanging for over three hours, just catching up on life. It was really nice. Saturday morning I slept in, did laundry and some light cleaning. Then I got my hair done with Mel and got ready for the MUSE cabaret. Man, I am in the company of some very talented ladies! Hearing some of them perform (I didn't) made me think of how much more I want to accomplish with my music. Which lead me to think about how much I don't accomplish now because I have no time for anything. Which made me think that I already take on more than I can handle. Which made me sad and made me think this:
I DO NOT want to get involved with anyone for awhile. If ever. I just can't hack it. The thought of it makes my skin crawl.
I need to start finishing projects. Weight loss and getting out of debt being the first of the projects that are in the works but not completed.
I WILL continue to improve in my music. I already sing a ton, so right now that's enough. When I have finished my other projects, I'll take on more musically.
I won't beat myself up anymore about the things I can't fix or all the things I can't be part of.
My health issues WILL be nipped in the bud ASAP.
Speaking of health issues, they are still shitty. I see the gyno again tomorrow, then the oral surgeon, then the dietician. Then next Monday I see my surgeon again for another fill! A couple of my friends keep stressing to me that I need to have them check my thyroid. I have almost every symptom of an underactive thyroid and that could explain a lot. I'm excited to hopefully start getting some relief.
After the cabaret on Saturday night, a bunch of us partied at my friend Tim's amazing house and had a blast. I slept super late yesterday which screwed me up and I didn't sleep last night. I'm a zombie today and it's terrible. I did get a work out in yesterday and got to spend some time with Mel and the girls. Luckily, I am off tomorrow so hoping I get some rest.
Ciao bellas!
I DO NOT want to get involved with anyone for awhile. If ever. I just can't hack it. The thought of it makes my skin crawl.
I need to start finishing projects. Weight loss and getting out of debt being the first of the projects that are in the works but not completed.
I WILL continue to improve in my music. I already sing a ton, so right now that's enough. When I have finished my other projects, I'll take on more musically.
I won't beat myself up anymore about the things I can't fix or all the things I can't be part of.
My health issues WILL be nipped in the bud ASAP.
Speaking of health issues, they are still shitty. I see the gyno again tomorrow, then the oral surgeon, then the dietician. Then next Monday I see my surgeon again for another fill! A couple of my friends keep stressing to me that I need to have them check my thyroid. I have almost every symptom of an underactive thyroid and that could explain a lot. I'm excited to hopefully start getting some relief.
After the cabaret on Saturday night, a bunch of us partied at my friend Tim's amazing house and had a blast. I slept super late yesterday which screwed me up and I didn't sleep last night. I'm a zombie today and it's terrible. I did get a work out in yesterday and got to spend some time with Mel and the girls. Luckily, I am off tomorrow so hoping I get some rest.
Ciao bellas!
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